I’m getting tired of hearing promotions for a RAW supershow. What’s the point? EVERY week there are crossover brand promotions and inter-promotional matches, so the novelty of seeing a so-called “dream match” loses its value. As I’ve said for the last decade, in order for this brand splitting to work, the brands need to be worlds apart and never co-exist. Raw does their own thing and Smackdown does theirs. In essence, when Vince McMahon purchased WCW , he should have left it as WCW and handed the reigns over to his son Shane. Let your boy prove what he is capable of doing and let there be a healthy competitiveness within the family. At the end of the day, all of the profits will be pocketed by a McMahon anyway.

A supershow is only promoted because creative has run out of ideas and ratings are tanking. Not to mention that the secondary show [Smackdown] is so poorly booked, that they need a rub from the flagship. The biggest problem with WWE creative is that they book sitcom style with a shallow depth of week to week. None of them book for the bigger picture. Think I’m wrong? How many shows have you read that the scripts have been changed 6 times in a day and no one knew what their place was 20 minutes before going live on the air. It’s over calculation and micro managing by a bunch of inept non-wrestling fans who landed a gig writing for a product they once ridiculed. Bottomline, these super shows super SUCK!

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Dolph Ziggler’s opening promo with Mick Foley was PURE GOLD! Now it’s time to have the gold put around his waist…but AFTER Wrestlemania. I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it a million more. Ziggler is cut from the same cloth as “Mr. Perfect” Curt Henning. The office is finally giving him a push and I’m happy to see him in the championship match at the Royal Rumble, but the problem here is that the main even t on that PPV is the Rumble itself. So technically, Ziggler is not main eventing and his drawing power can’t be judged by the numbers of this event.

On the flip side of the coin, it’s the perfect spot for Ziggler to get a title shot. The Royal Rumble is one of the biggest drawing PPVs of the year and a great spot for him to shine. Again, we fall to the land of the lost, otherwise known as creative. What are the plans for Ziggler moving forward? We all know he won’t defeat CM Punk for the title because the office doesn’t have the confidence in him right now to headline WrestleMania – but that opportunity may only be a year away. Not to mention, this isn’t the Mania you want Ziggler to hold the strap for anyway. His match would be overshadowed by the promotions for Rock vs. Cena and Undertaker’s bid to extend the streak to 20-0. The ideal time for Ziggler to get his hands on the strap would be after Mania, where a strong run can be pushed all the way through SummerSlam or Survivor Series. The big question is – what does creative have planned to keep Ziggler as their top heel until he is ready to wear the gold?

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This whole Kane re-invention isn’t working…yet. I like the fact that the WWE decided to better utilize Kane as the indestructible monster he should be. But is it too late? The Kane character has been around for a long time and his history is not easily forgettable. Just because he returns with a mask and has some anger issues, doesn’t necessarily mean that his history is erased.

I will say this, the Kane character works sooooooo much better as a literal monster heel and with the mask. The gimmick needs to be mysterious. There should be little known facts about who he is, where he’s from, and what sets off his rage. Remember “Parts Unknown”? THAT ‘S where he should come from!

The other problem is, what does this do for John Cena? It’s a senseless feud no matter how you look at it. This is where the flaw with booking The Rock vs. Cena a year in advance comes into play. Creative doesn’t have enough to work with…or shall I say, they don’t have enough creativity to fill the gaps for that long of a time period. These senseless filler feuds do nothing to advance Cena’s program with The Rock. Rather than make this about “embracing the rage” – it should have been more about crippling Cena to the point where fans will question whether or not he’ll make it to Wrestlemania. There is more drama in the jeopardy of the main event than there is from some idiot coming up from underneath the ring.
That’s a nice mid-card gimmick, but doesn’t do much to help here.

As of right now, the Rock vs. Cena feud has lost steam. The Rock has not had a presence on WWE TV since the Survivor Series, where he laid out Cena and then disappeared to make more movies. Cena forgot about Dwayne to goof off with Zack Ryder and play fright night with Kane. But of course in the WWE Universe, this will ALL come to an end once Cena betas Kane at the Royal Rumble and then resets his sights on The Rock. Two words for ya: HORRIBLE BOOKING!

Basically, the WWE dropped the ball with The Rock vs. John Cena, and it is nothing but a glorified video game match.

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Wade Barrett, R-Truth, Sheamus and The Miz….So much potential, so little effort.

Wade Barrett has the tools to be the next William Regal – but he has to stop talking about it and just do it already. Not only has creative tried force feeding his talent, but now it’s his gimmick to talk about how great he is. We all know how green you are and that you have the ability to be a top heel in the WWE as your career continues to grow with time and experience. But you’ve done NOTHING and accomplished NOTHING – so stop telling us what you can do and start showing us. I like the confidence but start backing it up.

The whole R-Truth thing is starting to get weird but not in a good way. The “Little Jimmies” bit has jumped the shark and I’m confused as to who the R-Truth target audience is. The strength in Truth is his high flying ability and his appeal to the urban demographic. And when I say urban – I don’t mean just the black people. I’m talking about anyone who appreciates hip hop music and culture. Truth can rhyme and dance with the best of them – so why did we stop him? Truth gets the people bouncing in their seats – so why did we replace that with psychopathic bug eyes? Believe it or not, but Truth was at his best when he was a contender and champion in TNA. But I suppose WWE creative doesn’t think there is anything they can learn from TNA history. R-Truth was one of the few things TNA got right and his championship reign was one of the most competitive in that companies history. The bottomline is that WWE needed a black star to appeal to the black audience without making the mistakes they made with Cryme Time. I’m not calling the WWE racist, but the only thing they saw in R-Truth was the color of his skin and not the quality of his work. Sure they know he’s a great athlete and can work with the best of them, but they never intended to take him serious. They have Mark Henry for that.

Sheamus has grown to become one of the WWE elite – not only in the ring but as a brand ambassador. I didn’t buy into the gimmick at first, and still have trouble with the GIMMICK as I don’t see a long shelf life with it. But he’s got the “IT” factor. He’s a big thick guy who can work snug and stiff. He has many old school qualities that will earn him respect from the opponents and have him earn a real “tough as nails” reputation. His stiff forearm shots remind me of Hall of Famer Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. And most of all, he can adjust himself to the style of ANYONE on the roster. Sheamus has “IT”, but needs to find a better way to keep it.

Finally, The Miz – arguably one of the unsung heroes of the entire WWE roster. His biggest enemy is himself, and not because he can’t hang with the big boys – but simply because he doesn’t look the part. You may hate The Miz, but you’re supposed to. You may hate that he held the WWE world title, but he did it as the perfect antagonist much like The Honky Tonk Man held the intercontinental title. But aside from how he is portrayed in the animated WWE Universe, – you may hate him, but he gives 200% every time he steps into the ring. The Miz has a passion for this business that you DON’T see in 90% of this roster. He knows he has to work harder than the rest to be accepted, and he does. He uses an old ancient formula called PSYHCOLOGY. Every move he delivers and every bump he sells is done with pure dignity in his work ethic. The next time you watch his match, don’t watch the character – watch the guy who plays him. Watch his facial expressions in his promos, read his eyes, see how he sells… He may not be a big boy in stature, but he’s a big boy at heart.

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Before Monday Night RAW, did anyone know who Perez Hilton was? Now that RAW is over, does anyone care who Perez Hilton is? I happen to know who he is because outside of wrestling, my obsession is movies. I am an absolute film junkie and I follow the Hollywood trades more than I do the wrestling dirt sheets. So when I heard Perez Hilton would be making an appearance, I already knew Vince McMahon was trying to capitalize on his enormous erection for Twitter and working his way to tapping into Perez Hilton’s 4 million plus followers. Nice strategy – but what did it do creatively?

Thank God he was only used as a ring announcer and had a short bit with the divas, because this dude is not cut out to be in front of the camera. He looks like Ron Perlman’s Mini Me who should be competing in the Special Olympics!

Ironically, I entitled this section of the RAW review “Social Media Whoring” and didn’t realize that I’d be talking about the divas as well. What can I say? If the WWE doesn’t offer their female division more quality air time, then they might as well be whoring them out to social media outlets and the sticky pages of Playboy. Word around the camp fire is that The Bella Twins are on a special “priority list” in the office and that’s why they’ve been getting so much air time. I actually don’t mind that because I get the tingles in a strange place whenever they come on TV – but in all seriousness, creative can do a better job booking them.

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Don’t give me shit by assuming that I’m writing an obituary for George Murdoch, the man who portrays the character Brodus Clay on WWE program. The obit is actually for the character of Brodus Clay – who was brutally butchered, massacred and assassinated by the WWE creative team.

Brodus Clay was the first big guy with monster potential since the late Umaga. Clay had the size, the look, and the intensity to violently cripple his opponents and pose the biggest threat to the WWE championship.

For months, I praised Clay’s presence and potential, and virtually pleaded with the WWE not to drop the ball on this one as his promise had something that had not been seen in quite some time. WWE needed a new monster. A monster that haunted opponents much like the re-invented Kane is doing now. A monster cut from the cloth of legends such as King Kong Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, One Man Gang, Kamala , and Umaga. Week after week his debut was delayed. I figured with everything going on with stars like CM Punk, John Cena, The Rock, Ziggler, Ryder, Orton, Bryan, Henry, Big Show, etc., they didn’t want this new era beast to get lost in the shuffle. To me, it made perfect sense. Perhaps a debut was over hyped. Perhaps the idea was to frustrate him so much with delays that he would eventually unexpectedly run wild and destroy everything in sight. Then there were the cryptic Twitter messages regarding ending John Morrison’s WWE career…but still nothing.

Finally, the debut occurs and we get a illegitimate love child of The Godfather and Rikishi. WHAT THE FUCK???

Don’t get me wrong, the gimmick is great…but not for this guy. The gimmick is fun…but not for this guy. The gimmick is over with the fans like a fart in church…but not for this guy. Why not this guy? Because a guy like this doesn’t come off the WWE cookie cutter assembly line, like all the dreamers on NXT. Because a guy like this has a unique talent that shakes up the creative fold and builds monetary profit. A guy like this strikes fear in the hearts of the fans, as well as his opponents and brings reality back to the to what we already know is pre-determined. A guy like this can make the fans wonder, “Did he really hurt his opponent?…I think this guy is for real….There’s nothing funny about him…What would happen if our beloved champion got in the ring with him?… Forget the title, I’m more worried about his life!”

How long can this gimmick actually last? How much mileage can you expect to get out of a dancing hippo? At what point does he become a contender? At what point does he become a threat? When the music stops, the dancing ends and the showgirls disappear – what will he have left to offer?

This is where the WWE has FAILED. Even if they were to change the gimmick tomorrow – people will always remember the RUN DMC knockoff outfit and dance moves. They’ll always remember that this guy had a soft and loveable side, and they’ll patiently wait for him to return to that teddy bear style. WWE has RUINED the career of Brodus Clay.

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So you want to know my opinion of the return of Y2J Chris Jericho?… You really want to know? I’m sure it’s very similar to most of you reading this….Confused. Disappointed. Disgusted. Well, that’s just a few. To be honest, I can’t even put it into words…and apparently, neither can Jericho.

Really, what’s up with the silent treatment? Tongue didn’t come through customs while on tour overseas with Fozzy? Then again, I really can’t blame Jericho, unless he was the genius who conjured up the idea and pitched it to creative.

See, here’s the problem – and I hope I’m wrong about this. I’m pretty sure there was something bigger planned, but like EVERY script written by the comedic sitcom writers who don’t understand the wrestling business – it went through multiple drafts and changes. For weeks, we watched these cryptic Paranormal Activity style videos that haunted us about the 1/2/12 date and the return of an individual who has been drawn to his darker demons. Sure, it made sense to make the promos creepy – that way if negotiations with Jericho broke down the videos could have easily switched gears for The Undertaker’s return. I get it.

Word around the camp fire is that Jericho will remain silent until after the Royal Rumble, which many insiders are rumbling amongst themselves suspecting he will win and challenge CM Punk for the title at WrestleMania. I can live with that. But what’s the point of the silence? What’s the point of embracing the fans when your intention is to go against them as a ruthless heel? Why not call out CM Punk NOW and enter the Rumble with an agenda? Perhaps even sway the outcome of Punk’s match with Ziggler, thus keeping everyone looking strong.

On this edition of RAW, I smelled a swerve a mile away. Jericho was thrown into the main event six man tag with his assumed Mania opponent [Punk], and I figured, here’s where it goes down. Punk reaches for the hot tag. Jericho enters like a house of fire, and instead of striking the opposing team, he nails Punk. But it didn’t happen. Jericho just walked out and abandoned his team. …Okay. Not bad. But still makes no sense. Did he not attack Punk because it would have taken the heat off Ziggler in the Rumble title match? Perhaps. Then again, Jericho’s presence could have made things more intriguing and backed Punk into a corner where he has a challenger in Ziggler who has defeated him numerous times on RAW, a guest referee in Laurinaitis who genuinely hates him, and now a stalker in Jericho with no rhyme or reason. The odds are stacked against the champion and now the PPV is actually worth $59.95.

Again, I hope I’m the one that’s wrong here. I REALLY hope that this was all Jericho’s idea and that there will be a HUGE payoff. But the problem remains that I’m bored to death and may end up tuning out before you have the chance to give up the big reveal. The creepy video promos had my attention, but you’ve lost it now. So just shut the fuck up and wrestle already…oh wait…you have shut the fuck up because you haven’t even said a word since you got back. Ugh, the agony of what YOU call pro wrestling.

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I could get into a whole verbal clinic on the art of selling for your opponent and for the perception of the fans…but we’ll save that for another time. Yet, like art – you have some really shitty pieces that make you wonder how the artist got to be so popular.

Mick Foley – the sacrifices he’s made in the business are undoubtedly the stuff of legend. A hardcore icon who has taken bumps that the mortal man should have never walked away from. Many times death has looked Foley in the face and not only did he NOT flinch, but he offered to sign a copy of his book.
Seeing Foley on RAW is always a novelty, but one where the comedy is wearing thinner than the threads on his flannel shirt. The comedic segments are painful to watch and the cheap plugs and pops are irritating. He’s a fan favorite and a hit with the kids – most of whom have never seen Foley’s best work in Japan, ECW or even WCW…Shit, they probably haven’t even seen the infamous Hell in The Cell with Undertaker.

Foley has been inactive for quite some time. Sure he has the occasional matches where the bumps are nothing compared to what made him the hardcore legend, but do you expect a five star match from him these days? He barely gave you one in his prime. That’s not a knock to Foley, it’s just a fact based on his style. Hardcore matches and death defying bumps were special attractions. No more, no less.

On RAW, Foley campaigned for a spot in this year’s Rumble. His promo with Ziggler was pure gold. A one shot deal for the Rumble doesn’t hurt. It’s light work and no one expects him to win. Not to mention, Foley is so out of shape he makes Ric Flair look like he’s still in his prime.

But knowing what Foley has contributed to this business and the physical abuse he’s endured at the expense of our gruesome entertainment, how in the hell can the hardcore legend OVER SELL John Laurinaitis’ shot with…of all things…a microphone???

I still can’t believe how he sold that! “Oh no… Laurinaitis has a foreign object!…Oh no! Not the microphone!” That’s like selling a shot from a bottle of shampoo. “Oh no!… He’s got a bottle of Vidal Sassoon! Because if you don’t look good, he don’t look good!”

Mick, I got nothing but love for you. After all you’ve done for this business, if creative ever tells you to sell something like that again, please tell them to go fuck themselves.

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So I’m watching RAW and thinking to myself that CM Punk has lost his summer 2011 swagger and his promos sound like he got the contract and boost he wanted – so from here on out, he’ll just chug gallons of the corporate kool-aid and sell himself out. The chip on his shoulder crumbled like the Pringles at the bottom of the tube. He may be (or think he’s) the best wrestler in the world, but the rating prove he’s not the best entertainer. Somewhere after the scrapped feud with Kevin Nash, Punkn lost the venom in his tongue.

Maybe he needed the feud with Nash after all. Sure Nash can’t go toe to toe with Punk at his age and physical condition, but the shoot style promos would have been epic. But just as I was losing myself in thought (mainly because the six man tag main event had already lost my interest), Punk grabs the mic and gets up in John Laurinaitis’ grill to spew the venom I thought he was fresh out of. Not only did I humbly swallow my words, but in that moment CM Punk instantly became this generation’s version of Stone Cold Steve Austin.

I can’t believe 1995 was almost 20 years ago. I’m in absolute awe at how fast time has flown by me. It feels like just yesterday that Austin was performing as The Ringmaster, and said “Screw this…I gotta do something different”. I was just yesterday when Austin broke all the rules and went against the grain while marching to the beat of his own drum. I vividly remember watching Brian Pillman at home pulling a gun on Austin. I remember rooting for the bad guy as Austin challenged the corporate standard. And now, here we are again, with a new era and a new face of anti-establishment in CM Punk.

I have no quarrel with recycling successful storylines of the past – especially if done right. As a booker, I’m guilty of doing it myself on more than one occasion. Us creative people call it inspiration or homeage. We never forget the history that we fell in love with and our variation is a nod of affection.
So did Punk lose his swagger? Well, I’m still on the fence with that one…but after his closing promo on Monday, I’m starting to believe that he found his legacy.

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